The Public Self

Nowadays we live in an information age, where almost everybody is able to express their opinions, beliefs and attitudes and target mass audiences. Most of the people have an ‘online-Self’ on various Internet portals, which they use to communicate with other ‘online-people’. But do the social media really help in self-development and the interaction with other people? Is the ‘online-Self’ congruent with the real Self?


When you create an online account, usually you need to answer certain questions about yourself. What books have you read, what movies do you like, what hobbies do you have, etc. How do you approach answering those questions? Are you truly honest about yourself, or do you maybe think firs about what other people would say, how they would judge you and what type of people do you want to target (who do you want to be friends with, or who do you think it would be ‘cool’ and socially accepted to be friends with)?

I believe that a big part of creating an online presence is about selling yourself. When we start creating that account, from the moment when we are asked about our education or work background, we select the more interesting details, or maybe the ones we think are more flattering. I don’t think anybody would mention these couple of months they spent in jail or that they failed school. People purposefully omit the less impressive or negative aspects of their lives, photoshop their pictures and try to be ‘casually witty’. Whatever the reason, if it’s meeting some interesting people, getting a good job or simply bragging, people create an ideal Self, one that they like being identified with and one they feel confident with.

The question remains: do the social networks truly boost our confidence in real life (either in a positive or negative way), do we become the people we want to be (through ‘fake it until you make it’)? The beauty of being ‘anonymous’ certainly helps. Even if the people you talk to online know some things about you, these are the things you want them to know, this is the good side of you; not having met you in person they cannot prove you wrong. You don’t have to be afraid of being judged, and also, if you can’t immediately think of a good response, you have quite some time to think of a good reply, whereas in real life, it would lead to an awkward silence.

Therefore, it is definitely easier to communicate online, where you let people know what you want to, being who you want to be. However, if you are not being true to who you really are, your real-life interactions might be affected. If you notice the incongruence between your ideal and real Self too late, it might lead to depression and fear of living your real life. This might be due to the fact that instead of finding solutions to their imperfections, people cover them with fake identities.

The social media are a very good way of communicating, meeting new people and finding career opportunities, however, it is important that we keep it real, and don’t be seduced by the anonymity offered by the profile creator. It is better to work on your real Self, so that you become the person that you want to be, and match your online profiles with who you truly are and not the other way round.